Okay, this part hits closer to home because it is the most recent phase. I just fell out of this stage and hopefully for good. Now after the FRO, I got locks. I wanted to have a maintenance free alternative and I thought locks were the way to go. The only thing I did not realize was that locks required maintenance, just not everyday. Especially the kind I wanted - the small kind. The kind that I could style in many different hair styles. Now, I thought locks were all the same, so I just got double strand twist and let the new growth locks. I did not know how you had to maintain them. So I didn't and boy did that catch up with me.
I placed the photo above not to empasize the beautiful photography of Rameek Rasul, which by the way can seen at: http://www.modelmayhem.com/83289 , but I wanted you to check the lump that is in the back of my head. My hair kept growing and I did not do anything to maintain it. No separation of the locks- nothing. So my hair eventually patch together in the middle and soon became inseparable. This totally defeated the intent of locking small in order to style my hair in various ways.
I also picked up a bad habit of slapping gel to the front of my hair and then using a toothbrush to create additional baby hair. Man, that was so easy and effective at the time. I inserted the picture above for special effect. smile.
Now, even though I did not have a perm anymore and was technically natural, or so I believed at the time, that gel prohibited me from getting use to my roots being free. So in essence, I kept the concept of the bone strait look without a perm. I would insert a picture of the gel, but I had received so many complements this crap that I in no way wish to indirectly give any advertisement for the use of this chemical. Shoot, young children may actually try this at home and this is not about that. I have inserted the picture above so you can see better the 2 hair styles in one I used to sport.
Well anyway, essentially I was still not all the way natural. No swimming yet. Nothing that had to do with water to much. I did workout and was able to stand in the rain for about 3 minutes, but not longer than that because my gel would begin to melt and that pasting slime could get gel all over my clothes. Oh, FYI, I used the dark gel not the clear one. So you could imagine my concern.
Now this photo I put in as exhibit A. Because I had the locks growing in bulk, my hair began to get really heavy. Look at the back - that was all new growth that had not been separated. This is the first time I felt I had a lot of hair, I mean for real. And when I washed it it was 3 times heavier. Check out the scarf. If I did not touch up the baby hair locks on the top of my head - the scarf was the only alternative. Also check out the pre-imposed baby hair I would create everyday. And checkout the slick back bone strait look look in the front. That is where I would slap the gel on every morning. So in essence, I had two hair styles at one time. The straight and nappy look all wrapped up in one. Oh and I can't forget, I used to add highlights to my hair with natural hair extensions. There was so much going on with my hair at this point, I think I had no other choice but to drop the 50 pound gorilla. It was not worth it. Man, I used to cry at night. i was torn in my thought process. I had not fully embraced my natural side. I had one foot in the beauty supply stores and hair salons and one foot out.
Above is a photograph of what my locks looked like from the back.
I had these locks for about 7 - 9 years. I cut it off Nov of 2008 after I got tired of crying myself to sleep. I did it on Nov 5, 2008 exactly, when President Obama was being nominated for the democratic party. The atmosphere was electrifying. I kept hearing," change , we need change, and yes we can. It was like everyone was saying it and it gave me strength for my own situation. I felt like I needed change and yes I can do anything also. For real , that's how deep I let this non-sense effect me. I know it may sound all to much but at the time it was all to true for me.
Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Dag! You guys are going to make me leave it all on the floor. I was trying to end it in the preceeding paragraph , but i can see you want the raw details as to how i cut my lock? Okay, the process i used was pretty strait forward, I took a pair of large scissors and dug right into my hair lump from the side of my head along the side of my ear. I made an effort to save as much hair as possible, so any hair that I had gelled and that was not natted together I kept. It took me about 45 minutes to complete the process. I would stop, look at my hair in amazement and then cut another piece. It was something I would not wish on anyone. Seeing all that energy and pain all lumped up in my hair. And some people might say, how did it get to that. So now with this journal, I hope it makes some sense.
You know, I feel like a person that lets their weight get out of control. You know when they say that famous cliche', "I just don't know what happened, I just let myself go." I always say to myself, that's baloney, you knew what happened , you where there, you just haven't dealt with your poor eating habits and now it's having a negative impact on your health. Well that's the deal with me, I knew what happened, I was there, I just didn't want to face my pain of self hatred. I knew I needed to get re-educated about who i am and what my people really contributed to man-kind in order to feel proud about being an African. I knew what had to be addressed. I just let things get out of hand. So, now I guess, I am taking responsibility and dealing with this issue. And yes, my head did feel 20 pounds lighter after the big chop. Alright, you have it! Now can we move on?
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Now this photo I put in as exhibit A. Because I had the locks growing in bulk, my hair began to get really heavy. Look at the back - that was all new growth that had not been separated. This is the first time I felt I had a lot of hair, I mean for real. And when I washed it it was 3 times heavier. Check out the scarf. If I did not touch up the baby hair locks on the top of my head - the scarf was the only alternative. Also check out the pre-imposed baby hair I would create everyday. And checkout the slick back bone strait look look in the front. That is where I would slap the gel on every morning. So in essence, I had two hair styles at one time. The straight and nappy look all wrapped up in one. Oh and I can't forget, I used to add highlights to my hair with natural hair extensions. There was so much going on with my hair at this point, I think I had no other choice but to drop the 50 pound gorilla. It was not worth it. Man, I used to cry at night. i was torn in my thought process. I had not fully embraced my natural side. I had one foot in the beauty supply stores and hair salons and one foot out.
Above is a photograph of what my locks looked like from the back.
I had these locks for about 7 - 9 years. I cut it off Nov of 2008 after I got tired of crying myself to sleep. I did it on Nov 5, 2008 exactly, when President Obama was being nominated for the democratic party. The atmosphere was electrifying. I kept hearing," change , we need change, and yes we can. It was like everyone was saying it and it gave me strength for my own situation. I felt like I needed change and yes I can do anything also. For real , that's how deep I let this non-sense effect me. I know it may sound all to much but at the time it was all to true for me.
Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Dag! You guys are going to make me leave it all on the floor. I was trying to end it in the preceeding paragraph , but i can see you want the raw details as to how i cut my lock? Okay, the process i used was pretty strait forward, I took a pair of large scissors and dug right into my hair lump from the side of my head along the side of my ear. I made an effort to save as much hair as possible, so any hair that I had gelled and that was not natted together I kept. It took me about 45 minutes to complete the process. I would stop, look at my hair in amazement and then cut another piece. It was something I would not wish on anyone. Seeing all that energy and pain all lumped up in my hair. And some people might say, how did it get to that. So now with this journal, I hope it makes some sense.
You know, I feel like a person that lets their weight get out of control. You know when they say that famous cliche', "I just don't know what happened, I just let myself go." I always say to myself, that's baloney, you knew what happened , you where there, you just haven't dealt with your poor eating habits and now it's having a negative impact on your health. Well that's the deal with me, I knew what happened, I was there, I just didn't want to face my pain of self hatred. I knew I needed to get re-educated about who i am and what my people really contributed to man-kind in order to feel proud about being an African. I knew what had to be addressed. I just let things get out of hand. So, now I guess, I am taking responsibility and dealing with this issue. And yes, my head did feel 20 pounds lighter after the big chop. Alright, you have it! Now can we move on?
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